But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
