just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
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