i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
