thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i barfeds in our rink
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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