I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
