i was born a porn star she said
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
