Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He did a backflip because drugs
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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