In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
