i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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