So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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