my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm at about main and main street
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
