Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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