I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
