I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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