Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
