Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
