Nicole vs. Life
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
