Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
