im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
