your room smells of hookers.
And success
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just had sex on a roof
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
