I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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