I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Randomize
