You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
