Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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