I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
