It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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