I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
