I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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