you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
