They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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