my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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