Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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