We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
