It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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