I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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