i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Farmville is her only friend.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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