There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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