I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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