med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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