I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Pooping to opera.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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