no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
