I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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