She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
