WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
