IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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