; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
