like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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