I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
