Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I wish you could order shots online.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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