the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
