he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
