I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
