Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
