that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
