can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
