I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
